Getting past the disaffection when love grows cold. All marriages go through times when love grows cold or lacks the depth it once had. When marriages get into trouble both partners hurt. Disaffection refers to the negative change of marital love and commitment. The process by which love grows cold and the desire to leave the marriage or hurt one’s spouse replaces past love.
The Blame Game
Too many times the blame game begins and the real issues get lost. Many times, they can’t even pinpoint what went wrong. If couples would be willing to step back and review their marital story, they will usually find a pattern of thoughts and behaviors that led to the disaffection. Consequently, that would require the need to take a close look at self.
Harmful patterns become predictable and couples can work to stop them and save their marriage. It becomes an intentional pause of negative reactions that should be suppressed from becoming reality. There has to be a clear aim to want to overcome the adversities to move on to polite and respectful dialog.
Keeping the marriage in a place of peacefulness comes down to one’s own need to have harmony. Looking at the reason the union took place should take a couple back to, “we can do this.” Hard times are growth times. For better or worse doesn’t mean to bail when the worse seems to be taking over. It’s the season for newness.
Heart of Grace
Have a heart of grace. Giving up something to get something is a way of life; always negotiating, always sacrificing. It is a part of the healing process. Be kind, gentle and supportive to your spouse. Allow one another to make mistakes and grow from them. It makes for a better and stronger person as life continues to unfold.
Love grows cold when the heat is too low! Put the affection back in your relationship for the simple reason that you decided for your life.